You Jerk My Chain

Don't hook up with Pretty Jonny --
Jump your bones and suck your honey,
Hit you up for all your money, and
Send you back to work.
He's such a jerk.


I know he's cute -- so mother-fucking cute
I want to kill the little prick.
I want to hang him by his dick.
I want to shoot the mother quick.
Right through the heart --
his chicken-lickin' mother-stickin' heart.


I just can't figure out how it works.
You're always hooking up with jerks
Instead of me.


Tomorrow you'll come round again
to tell me how he stuck it in
And never even kissed you.
Said you're no good, and you're so dumb,
You can't even make him come,
So you sucked him while he dissed you.


I start feeling suicidal,
Psycho-sex and homocidal
Every time I see you sidle
Up to let him grope --
To give you hope.


I know he's cute -- so mother-fucking cute
I want to kill the little prick.
I want to hang him by his dick.
I want to shoot the mother quick.
Right through the heart --
his chicken-lickin' mother-stickin' heart.


I just can't figure out how it works.
You're always hooking up with jerks
Instead of me.



James Nathan Post / 14 Aug 99